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On the Beer

mark wood

by Mark Wood

We Have a Winner!

Congratulations to Edgar Butt for sending in his award-winning entry “Le Buttz Bog Water” to the “Name Your Beer” contest, and thanks to everyone who participated.

I interviewed a slew of brewmasters since the last newsletter, and a catchy generic phrase seems to sum up the whole beer experience: “Nectar O’Knowledge”. Further study was required, so I conducted an independent experiment under closed conditions (the shed) with a diverse group of willing participants (the b’ys). It was all in the name of science, and gratiously funded by the Research and Development Division of Brewery Lane. My resulting micro-thesis was titled “Beer: Nectar O’Knowledge, or Just Another Fryday Night.”

There is nothing so refreshing as the first beer at the end of the work week. Its full-bodied flavour compliments your efforts with an aftertaste that promises excitement.

The second beer stirs up the crowd, cigars are lit, and demands for loud music are accommodated.

The third beer prompts boisterous conversation complete with wild, flailing gesticulations and sound effects.

Fourth beer: “Houston, we have a problem.” We are in the eye of the storm now, and have deliberately lubricated the revelation center of the brain. Suddenly I’m surrounded by experts. Such weighty topics as the government, the economy and interest rates are dismissed with backhanded gestures and profound advice. We are up for the mental challenge of solving urban legends and other myths such as alternative energy sources, and golf; a game that none of us play yet suddenly and completely understand. Unfortunately, one of our brightest participants was unceremoniously uprooted from the session by his wife, who took him by the ear and accurately informed us of our dosages.

Chastened like teenagers, we toned down the tunes and checked the fridge, more concerned with the beer ahead of us than behind us. At the end of the evening we issued our final assessment: There are lots of people in the world and they all do different things. Thank you very much, and good night!

Mark is also a regular columnist with The Independent (.ca) newspaper.