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On The Beer

mark wood

by Mark Wood


Everyone knows on Fryday Nite I’m the host to an eclectic crew, and I’m almost performing a community service by having them over. They’re a hard working bunch of eclecticians though, with their noses to the grindstone all week, they drink some homebrew, tell a few stories and grow their noses back.

Their wide scope of topics and depth and breadth of knowledge belies their humble appearances. So much, in fact, that they didn’t flinch when a visitor named Mike was introduced as a mathematical physicist. He was among friends, they intoned, all of them foamy-faced geniuses.

His skills would be handy, we figured, for calculating the ratio of how six (homebrew) can fit into one (person). Mike was more than adept in his field and demonstrated how a bottle of wine could be divided by two.

I asked Mike how he got into his particular line of work and he replied, “My father, mother and brother are all mathematical physicists.”

“That must make for some interesting dinner conversations.” I said, “Do you defend any of your own theories amongst your family?”

“Actually,” Mike replied, “my brother, father and I are all theoretical physicists while Mother is only an experimental physicist and we tease her mercilessly for it.”

The b’ys erupted in laughter over this situation, the best one they’ve heard in a while. And they use it at every opportunity.

Even though they’re lowly eclecticians, they’re totally empowered with superiority over experimental physics. ‘Cause their buddy’s better than that. “Way times better”, I’m assured.

Mark is also an empowered automotive journalist for the Independent newspaper.