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On The Beer

mark wood

by Mark Wood

F.A.H.D.

My friends and I, as individuals, have normal names, lead fairly normal lives with barely normal jobs and use almost normal transportation. But collectively, we are abnormal, enabling you, gentle readers, to live your lives vicariously through:

The Further Adventures of
The First Airborne Homebrew Division

As usual, it is either very late on a Fryday Nite or very early on a Saturday morning and we are assembled around the fire in the smoking room. Smokin’ Joe is about to say something very funny and wise. Perhaps even sage, as he is often wont to do.

“The Fun-Fluid we are enjoying here this evening was once illegal,” spake Himself. We’re suddenly bogged down in debate, off to a false start.

Was there once prohibition in Canada?

“I experienced prohibition before I was old enough,” offers Jimmy Two Fires. This is enough evidence to convince Smokin’ Joe to continue.

“Then the government decided to allow a select few to use it for medicinal purposes,” he said, “which was nice. Then after a few short whiles they decided to decriminalize it and allow people to have small amounts in their possession.”

He had a point; we had a giggle.

“Then they made it completely legal, took over the liquor istribution side of things and taxed it to the hilt,” he roared.

“Though we’re still permitted to brew wine and beer for our own for personal consumption as long as we don’t profit from it. Now, let’s look down the road and see where the government’s latest decriminalization venture will take them.”

There’s a pregnant pause while we ruminate the possibilities until we all reach the same conclusion at the same time. We giggle, then titter into a crescendo of roaring bwa-ha-ha’s.

Shall we share it with the folks at home? Absolutely. In the future we will look like this…

On Something
By Mark Wood
The Further Adventures of The First Airborne Homegrown Division

It is either very late on a Fryday Nite or very early on a Saturday morning. Smokin’ Joe is about to say something very, very funny.

He always does.

Mark is also a regular columnist with The Independent (.ca) newspaper.